FIRST PARTIE OF 2K10

Sup yall, haven’t been blogging for awhile but there is a perfectly good reason for my absence. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and hope that you understand that I was MIA on account of having to plan my outfit for the next big electro partie. I spent nearly 2 months planning this outfit for Saturday nite’s partie. Missed X-mas and NYE with my family and friends, s0 fkin pist yall. NEwayz, took hella zany pics, here they are hopes yall like em.

Got kinda sad, saw a bunch of bros(jus wanted 2 cum wit a hot chick 2nite), but kinda laffed at the superbad fatty looking one.

Saw a African-American and his wigger utilizing some sort of gang sign language, felt intimidated and wandered to a safer area of the space 2 partie.

Saw an even bigger, higher and scaier African American throwing up mad gang signs, so I ran to the bar.

On my way 2 the bar 2 get sparks, got accosted by a ugly girl in zany glasses and ANOTHER African American throwing up aggressive gang signs. Couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, felt threatened and walked away.

Saw another vicious African American in fur near the bar. Hoping for a AZN I pushed passed him.

Got hit on by this middle-aged gaysian and his lil friend wit big titz, felt like crying yall.

Saw another aggressive African American flashing gang signs, didn’t think I was gonna make it out of this partie alive. (worried)

Ran into legendary lead singer of metro station with some gheydude…thought he was a fggt 2, my dreamz were ruined. If Trace is a fggt what is there 2 live for. I thought he was prolly jus being friendly with one of his fanz and still liked ‘the poon’ like I do.

Saw him with another fggt, this time of the chocolate flavor. My suspeciouns were confirmed, the lead singer from metro station is a fggt.

DJ or Import Model?

If Mikey Jackey was into chix and had given Rihanna some Jesus Juice, this is what their spawn would look like.

My nite ended early when I saw another African American reaching in2 his pocket for his gun, and decided it was time 2 go.

So fuckin sad yall, thinkin about retiring from the partie scene.

WHAT IS THERE 2 LOOK FORWARD 2 IN 2K10?

Feeling down yall. I feel as if life has nothing more to offer and that I have already experienced all that I need to live a meaningful life. If I were to die tomorrow, I feel that I may or may not die happy. But I am so young, this is not how an aspiring artist/musician/blogger/flash mobber/avid concert attender/coolcat/trendsetter should feel. I know that I have more to offer the world, but what does the world have 2 offer me?

I was reflecting about the past 2day. I have grown so much, I have gone through so much. 2K6 was the year I became alt. I discovered that I did not yearn for the mainstream. I was a soul attuned to the more cultured aspects of life. I began listening to indie music and soon discovered electro. Everything was new and exciting then, I was a lil alt born anew into the alt arena that, little did I kno, I would soon conquer. 2K7 was the year I began 2 become the master of my domain, I formed several bands but we broke up bc we couldn’t decide on names or musical directions. I also tried drugs for the first time. Life was an experiment then. 2K8 was the year I transgressed into an altgod. I formed a band, we were able to complete the creation of a song. I began to explore my sexuality. I fked an azn. My coke habit was going strong. Electro was alive and well…I saw Justice 36 times that year. Nothing could prepare me for the crash of 2k9.

Now we come 2 2k9, the yr that I died on the inside. Call me jaded, call me mature. Iono, but nothing was interesting. I had sulked in all the world could possible offer one to soak up. I was an omnipotent alt. I had seen both daft punk and justice several times while on coke and sometimes a lil e. What more is there in life? 2day, I got depressed for I have done it all, as you can clearly see, and there is nothing left 2 do in life.

///S0 FKIN B0R3D///

I began to sob silently in my bed. For the first time in my life I was truly venerable. I felt anguished and despaired. Agony was about 2 take a hold of me until I got a altphiany. There are things I have yet 2 accomplish, I can still have a meaningful life and in 2k10 I intend to make this happen.

THINGS I WANT 2 HAPPEN IN 2K10 FOR A MORE MEANINGFUL LIFE:

1. OD on Blow – I’ve been doing blow for a few years now. Met a group of hipster friends who indulged in this drug and I thought ‘y not me’? S0 I tried it. I found that it increased myself awareness, I found that it allowed me 2 express myself in ways I nvr imagined. Mainly I felt better than all the fkin fggts around me. And soon my art began to improve. Confidence is the driving force behind art. Why create art if u kno othr pplz art is better than yrs? It’s pointless then. Let’s all do coke and paint, yall.

2. Run a Alternative Nite Club ­– This would provide me with the most meaningful life evr. I would share my artistic vision with all that come 2 my club. I would create a shinning beacon of altness for all hipsters in my local scene. I would book bands I want 2 see, showcase cutting edge art and play my favorite songs in a meaningful and intense space. Coke would rain down from the ceiling and drinks would be free 4 me. I would get drnk as fk evry nite and partie with my closest friends. 2 live this dream would be truly rewarding.

3. Inherit My Parents Net Worth - The main reason I’m worried for my well being is the fact that my trust fund is nearly out of money and my parents are beginning 2 lose patience with my inability 2 create a sustainable income. They jus don’t understand that I don’t want 2 work in some fucking office and that I am a special person with amazing talent. They don’t see the world how I see it. They don’t understand that one day I will make it big by staying alt and that spending copious amounts of money on durgz+alcohol will one day lead to something great. If they stay the course and continue to subsidize my alternative lifestyle I will not wish 2 inherit their fortune in 2k10, but if they continue down this path of doubt, suspicious and jus keep the cash flowing I’ll b happy.

What do u hope for in 2k10?

Will u ‘grow’ in 2k10?

FEELING ADVENTUROUS

Yallskies, feeling adventurous today. What should I do 2 prove how alt I am.

Should I…

Cut myself 4 attn?

Do sum drugz with my father? (hell pay)

Go 2 the zoo and dress da anniemals with my newly designed fashion line?

Should I bring my gf and make a poloroid porno at the zoo?

Should I kill the animals and make a keut jacket?

Maybe I’ll smuggle in some PeeBzAR and give it 2 a lilalt

Should I stay home instead and take n00dz+masturbate all day long?

Should I fk a hot azn hipster girl?

Or how about a kute azn hipster boy?

Or should I mock the azn race w/a azn?

Should I 'pose hipster' with a group of my most meaningful//mnstrm group of friends?

I think I’ll jus go 2 the big k and sit at the internet café. Sounds chill.
Lates yalls.

SHOULD I BE WORRIED THAT I HEARD MY FAVORITE BAND PLAYING AT MY LOCAL OLD NAVY/GUESS/ABBYCROMBIE/ZARA/KMART/SUPERZANYBIGASSK/TARMART???

Just got back from from my local mall. Sorta surprised that I made it out alive. Got some super krazie deals, s0 excited for Christmas now. My family is going 2 go 'banana' when they see what scored. Defs, best blk friday evr. So glad my trust fund recovered this yr, lst r was a bummer.

NeWayz, feeling hella worried about something...while I was pushing this 300 pound meximom out of the way (just tryin 2 get zhu zhu pets 4 my lilsis) Cut Copy's Lights and Music came on. This took me by surprised so much that I dropped the Zoozoo and the meximom who I had pushed onto the ground rolled over and smothered it. I was in shock knowing that I had ruined my sister's first conscious xmas:( Oh well, I thought to myself, she may have her zhuzhu pet, but at least I am not a minority. I then went over to Linen'N'Things to buy my mother a down comforter, I do owe her one after I took hers and cut it up for my apparel construction class. Jus tryin 2 b experimentally chic, yall. She wasn't too happy with my winter line of downe inspired vests/coats/maims/capes. Srry mom, <3>

Worried 4 the future.

Why do msntrm shops feel an entitlement 2 our music? I feel that if a store has 1.5 or more locations than it cannot play alternative music. It is ours and limited to alt shops such as noncorporate cafes, art galleries and electro nite clubs. These r the places I prefer to patron and do not mine having them 'bask' in my culture. I feel violated when some 'big' corporation plays a cd that they paid 'big' money for decides 2 play what means alot 2 me. It took many dedicated hours, sitting at the computer, with bloodshot eyes, skewering Hypem, Stereogum and my other favorite blogs, 2 create the perfect playlist and I don't want sum fkin mnstrmer finding out about the same music as me b/c they decided 2 buy a fourth of July flg shirt at old navy.

I am annoyed, I feel worse than a rape victim, and my culture has been stolen from me, all that I hold near and dear is no longer mine. Uggos/pooros and fashionable unfit ppl r going 2 begin 2 listen 2 the same music as me. First we lost American Apparel 2 the mall, now indie n electro. What is next? It's time 2 take a stand, we must stop this pillory, our favorite bands must be kept hidden from msntrmsers, and it is up 2 us 2 end this now. I believe we have the power.

I have a dream, that one day our music will b saved, that we will 1 day live in a world were alts can exist free from persecution from mnstrmers and the thief of their precious and meaningful culture. I have a dream that America can b a bastion for alts worldwide. And if now, let’s just take whip it’s and kill ourselves

THXGIVING IS MNSTRM BULLSHIT

As a true alt I feel that it is my duty to inform the confused masses about the customs and rituals that dictate our behavior within society that are just too mainstream. I question the true intent behind the creation and execution of such acts. I truly 'get' things and it is up to me to set the record str8.

Like an alt warrior leading the battle against pure evil, I promise to take 2 my blog and let the these thoughts flow into my posts. I don't want u 2 follow things blindly, think for urself like I do. U have a brain, and I want u 2 use it 2 create something good. So follow me, read my blog, realize that I have all the answers and that conforming 2 the norm is the most dangerous act someone can commit.

Thxgiving is mnstrm bullshit, yall.

Last nite wen I was drnk off sparx and high on tons of blow I formulated my soon to be senior thesis as to y this holiday is fkin ghey. I don't want 2 see my bullshit family, dad is just going to spend the day yelling about my sis's abortion, my brother failing out of college, and my 'worthless' lifestyle. (My dad still isn't over the fact that I traded my car in for a 4,000 dollar fixie, he doesn't get that it's not just a trend and that fixies are now completely integrated into my alternative lifestyle), he also doesn’t want to pay for my tuition to my prestigious art school and thinks that my major is bullshit but he doesn’t have the balls to say it. My mom spends the day pretending to worry about the turkey, running into the kitchen 2 check on it, but rlly is downing bottles of wine and getting high on ambien. Marriage is s0 not alt, I will nvr get married, instead I plan 2 continually explore my sexuality.

Can’t wait 2 get back 2 the city and c the ppl who truly 'get' me.

///More reasons THXGIVING is complete bullshit///

U eat, get fat, which isn't alt, then try to shed off calories, why not just spend the day doing blow instead?

u have 2 c relatives who don't get u and attempt to coax u into sharing ur most alt thoughts by giving u shittie gifts,

If they rlly understood ur lifestyle, they would give u blow instead.

Wen ur back in the suburbs u can’t ride ur fixie...if u try 2, you'll get hassled by all the fat heifers driving SUVS. It's quite clear these ppl r just jealous that they r unable 2 ride as fast as u do, maybe if they did some chanel they'd have the energy to mash as hard as u.

no cafes 2 retreat to and get away from ur family and utilize the pent up rage/frustration/anger/confusion/realization of sexuality as art around a group of other likeminded starving artist.

u r no longer a starving artist (via turkey and fatto foods) is it possible 2 still create something meaningful now? I don't know.

all ur drug dealers live in the city, there r no 'gentrified' neighborhoods in the suburbs.

can't skate

can't renegade

can't drink sparx in public

But all of these setbacks pale when the master plot behind the bullshit that is thxgiving are revealed. All major retailers want u 2 cook a large turkey. They want u n ur family 2 create and consume a giant feast, they kno u will b unable 2 finish. This works well for blk friday, one of the most unalt and mnstrm days of the year. On this day uggos/pooros line their suburb streets waiting for the doors of their local big box retailer/suburban strip mall to open their doors. Upon opening the blind masses stampede in looking for 'doorbuster deals' and 'once in a lifetime sales' What does this have 2 do with thxgiving? The evil corporations want u to line up early rite, but wat prevents these 'fat pigs' from leaving their house at nite? They get hungry (this is why they don't go to dive bars like alts do) and there are no places to buy food at nite...but if these ppl cook a feast the day before and r unable 2 finish it, they will bring their scraps with them feasting throughout the nite while camped out waiting to spend their minuscule disposable income. This is y thxgiving is fuckin bullshit, just like jesusxchristmas.

THXGIVING//THE HOLIDAY CREATED FOR-->BLKFRIDAY///A DAY SUSTAINED BY LEFTOVR TURKEY SANDWICHES

Don’t fuk with this holiday, it is the most unalt thing an alt can do.

What other holidays are unalt??

Will u still ride ur fixie in the suburbs?

d0 u think my parents will get mad if I spike the drinks with pbr?

WHAT IS THE MOST HIPSTER CANDY??

As we all know, today is Halloween. What r u going 2 b tonite? I was going to be ½ of Justice but then I saw this picture and realized that no1 would give such unsightly characters ne candie. I just want lots of candy tonite. And the only way 2 do achieve such a goal is to have a relevant, topical and timely costume. My friends have given me an array of suggestions ranging from Falcon to one of Lady GaGa’s zany get ups. I don’t know though, all seem kinda dated. Maybe I’ll shave my asymmetrical haircut and go barefooted in a tube top (Britney Spears circa her mental breakdown) or maybe I’ll dress up as Oprah, Star Jones, Queen Monique or some other ‘curvy’ strong black woman. I don’t know, so much to think of, s0 little time.

This got me thinking, what candy should I hand out tonight? What is the most hipster candy?

//JUS WANNA BE THE MOST MEMORABLE/MEANINGFUL HOUSE ON THE BLOCK//




M&M’s r totes 4 ravers



Defs dont want 'dark chocolate'



Lollipops r for lil kids and gheymales



This confection is for lesbeyons



This looks kute, it wud rlly show my advanced talents in the arts (dropped out of pratt, yall), but I dnt want 2 b labeled as a ‘rice king or queen’



Bby Roof is 4 msntrm sports bros



100 grand is 4 'fkin sellouts'



Mentos r 4 mexialts



Candie corn is 4 hicks



Could the altest candie b pixie stix??



What do U think is the most hipster candy?

SOMETIMES

I was on the internet today and I came across this video by one of my most favorite, highly recc’d+respected bands, Miami Horror.

Sometimes from Miami Horror on Vimeo.

I feel like this song borrows elements from New Order, unlike the songs from Bravado which were heavily Prince inspired.
I like this song, but I am not sure which version of Miami Horror I enjoy more. Both are dancey and kinda ghey but I am not sure which is gheyer. I like the uplifting message that this song possess. It is the type of creed I will recite when I wake up in the morning as I prepare to face the world and the coming day (living in the city is hard, yall)

I feel as if this song has the possibility to transcend the Aussie scene and possibly enter the American tween lexicon, replacing shitie bands such as Kill Hannah and AFI. (h8 u former tween tastes) The dude behind MH has the right look, I feel like me and him could really hang out and totes b bffs.

This got me thinking, if I were to pick a electro dude from Australia to have a bromance with who would it be?



Would it be Miami Horror? I like their songs but I feel as if I don’t rlly KNOW them yet. We’ll see after their album drops in 2k10.



What about the bros from Cut Copy? They seem like chill dudes who know how to have a good time. I would force them to recreate the Set from LIGHTS AND MUSIC and perform for me. I would then take ‘mollies’ and ‘trip ballz’



How about Bag Raiderz? Maybe not tho, they seem 2 active.



Always jumping or hanging from things, I wonder what drugs they are on.



Bag Raiders – s0 zANY



If I were to chill hard with Mercy Arms, Id hang out with the dude who is meaningfully/purposefully looking away from the camera to indignantly protest something(probz 4 a free Tibet).



Feel like me and the dude from MidnitE Juggernauts would be big chillin, upside down.



Probz end up OD’ing with the zany guy from PNAU

Who would u pick?