TAKE BACK TOKYO

FIRST PARTIE OF 2K10

2010-03-08T13:03:00.000-08:00

Sup yall, haven’t been blogging for awhile but there is a perfectly good reason for my absence. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and hope that you understand that I was MIA on account of having to plan my outfit for the next big electro partie. I spent nearly 2 months planning this outfit for Saturday nite’s partie. Missed X-mas and NYE with my family and friends, s0 fkin pist yall. NEwayz, took hella zany pics, here they are hopes yall like em.

Got kinda sad, saw a bunch of bros(jus wanted 2 cum wit a hot chick 2nite), but kinda laffed at the superbad fatty looking one.

Saw a African-American and his wigger utilizing some sort of gang sign language, felt intimidated and wandered to a safer area of the space 2 partie.

Saw an even bigger, higher and scaier African American throwing up mad gang signs, so I ran to the bar.

On my way 2 the bar 2 get sparks, got accosted by a ugly girl in zany glasses and ANOTHER African American throwing up aggressive gang signs. Couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, felt threatened and walked away.

Saw another vicious African American in fur near the bar. Hoping for a AZN I pushed passed him.

Got hit on by this middle-aged gaysian and his lil friend wit big titz, felt like crying yall.

Saw another aggressive African American flashing gang signs, didn’t think I was gonna make it out of this partie alive. (worried)

Ran into legendary lead singer of metro station with some gheydude…thought he was a fggt 2, my dreamz were ruined. If Trace is a fggt what is there 2 live for. I thought he was prolly jus being friendly with one of his fanz and still liked ‘the poon’ like I do.

Saw him with another fggt, this time of the chocolate flavor. My suspeciouns were confirmed, the lead singer from metro station is a fggt.

DJ or Import Model?

If Mikey Jackey was into chix and had given Rihanna some Jesus Juice, this is what their spawn would look like.

My nite ended early when I saw another African American reaching in2 his pocket for his gun, and decided it was time 2 go.

So fuckin sad yall, thinkin about retiring from the partie scene.

WHAT IS THERE 2 LOOK FORWARD 2 IN 2K10?

2009-12-03T02:10:00.000-08:00

Feeling down yall. I feel as if life has nothing more to offer and that I have already experienced all that I need to live a meaningful life. If I were to die tomorrow, I feel that I may or may not die happy. But I am so young, this is not how an aspiring artist/musician/blogger/flash mobber/avid concert attender/coolcat/trendsetter should feel. I know that I have more to offer the world, but what does the world have 2 offer me?

I was reflecting about the past 2day. I have grown so much, I have gone through so much. 2K6 was the year I became alt. I discovered that I did not yearn for the mainstream. I was a soul attuned to the more cultured aspects of life. I began listening to indie music and soon discovered electro. Everything was new and exciting then, I was a lil alt born anew into the alt arena that, little did I kno, I would soon conquer. 2K7 was the year I began 2 become the master of my domain, I formed several bands but we broke up bc we couldn’t decide on names or musical directions. I also tried drugs for the first time. Life was an experiment then. 2K8 was the year I transgressed into an altgod. I formed a band, we were able to complete the creation of a song. I began to explore my sexuality. I fked an azn. My coke habit was going strong. Electro was alive and well…I saw Justice 36 times that year. Nothing could prepare me for the crash of 2k9.

Now we come 2 2k9, the yr that I died on the inside. Call me jaded, call me mature. Iono, but nothing was interesting. I had sulked in all the world could possible offer one to soak up. I was an omnipotent alt. I had seen both daft punk and justice several times while on coke and sometimes a lil e. What more is there in life? 2day, I got depressed for I have done it all, as you can clearly see, and there is nothing left 2 do in life.

///S0 FKIN B0R3D///

I began to sob silently in my bed. For the first time in my life I was truly venerable. I felt anguished and despaired. Agony was about 2 take a hold of me until I got a altphiany. There are things I have yet 2 accomplish, I can still have a meaningful life and in 2k10 I intend to make this happen.

THINGS I WANT 2 HAPPEN IN 2K10 FOR A MORE MEANINGFUL LIFE:

1. OD on Blow – I’ve been doing blow for a few years now. Met a group of hipster friends who indulged in this drug and I thought ‘y not me’? S0 I tried it. I found that it increased myself awareness, I found that it allowed me 2 express myself in ways I nvr imagined. Mainly I felt better than all the fkin fggts around me. And soon my art began to improve. Confidence is the driving force behind art. Why create art if u kno othr pplz art is better than yrs? It’s pointless then. Let’s all do coke and paint, yall.

2. Run a Alternative Nite Club – This would provide me with the most meaningful life evr. I would share my artistic vision with all that come 2 my club. I would create a shinning beacon of altness for all hipsters in my local scene. I would book bands I want 2 see, showcase cutting edge art and play my favorite songs in a meaningful and intense space. Coke would rain down from the ceiling and drinks would be free 4 me. I would get drnk as fk evry nite and partie with my closest friends. 2 live this dream would be truly rewarding.

3. Inherit My Parents Net Worth - The main reason I’m worried for my well being is the fact that my trust fund is nearly out of money and my parents are beginning 2 lose patience with my inability 2 create a sustainable income. They jus don’t understand that I don’t want 2 work in some fucking office and that I am a special person with amazing talent. They don’t see the world how I see it. They don’t understand that one day I will make it big by staying alt and that spending copious amounts of money on durgz+alcohol will one day lead to something great. If they stay the course and continue to subsidize my alternative lifestyle I will not wish 2 inherit their fortune in 2k10, but if they continue down this path of doubt, suspicious and jus keep the cash flowing I’ll b happy.

What do u hope for in 2k10?

Will u ‘grow’ in 2k10?

FEELING ADVENTUROUS

2009-12-02T02:05:00.000-08:00

Yallskies, feeling adventurous today. What should I do 2 prove how alt I am.

Should I…

Cut myself 4 attn?

Do sum drugz with my father? (hell pay)

Go 2 the zoo and dress da anniemals with my newly designed fashion line?

Should I bring my gf and make a poloroid porno at the zoo?

Should I kill the animals and make a keut jacket?

Maybe I’ll smuggle in some PeeBzAR and give it 2 a lilalt

Should I stay home instead and take n00dz+masturbate all day long?

Should I fk a hot azn hipster girl?

Or how about a kute azn hipster boy?

Or should I mock the azn race w/a azn?

Should I 'pose hipster' with a group of my most meaningful//mnstrm group of friends?

I think I’ll jus go 2 the big k and sit at the internet café. Sounds chill.
Lates yalls.

SHOULD I BE WORRIED THAT I HEARD MY FAVORITE BAND PLAYING AT MY LOCAL OLD NAVY/GUESS/ABBYCROMBIE/ZARA/KMART/SUPERZANYBIGASSK/TARMART???

2009-11-27T13:21:00.000-08:00

Just got back from from my local mall. Sorta surprised that I made it out alive. Got some super krazie deals, s0 excited for Christmas now. My family is going 2 go 'banana' when they see what scored. Defs, best blk friday evr. So glad my trust fund recovered this yr, lst r was a bummer.

NeWayz, feeling hella worried about something...while I was pushing this 300 pound meximom out of the way (just tryin 2 get zhu zhu pets 4 my lilsis) Cut Copy's Lights and Music came on. This took me by surprised so much that I dropped the Zoozoo and the meximom who I had pushed onto the ground rolled over and smothered it. I was in shock knowing that I had ruined my sister's first conscious xmas:( Oh well, I thought to myself, she may have her zhuzhu pet, but at least I am not a minority. I then went over to Linen'N'Things to buy my mother a down comforter, I do owe her one after I took hers and cut it up for my apparel construction class. Jus tryin 2 b experimentally chic, yall. She wasn't too happy with my winter line of downe inspired vests/coats/maims/capes. Srry mom, <3>

Worried 4 the future.

Why do msntrm shops feel an entitlement 2 our music? I feel that if a store has 1.5 or more locations than it cannot play alternative music. It is ours and limited to alt shops such as noncorporate cafes, art galleries and electro nite clubs. These r the places I prefer to patron and do not mine having them 'bask' in my culture. I feel violated when some 'big' corporation plays a cd that they paid 'big' money for decides 2 play what means alot 2 me. It took many dedicated hours, sitting at the computer, with bloodshot eyes, skewering Hypem, Stereogum and my other favorite blogs, 2 create the perfect playlist and I don't want sum fkin mnstrmer finding out about the same music as me b/c they decided 2 buy a fourth of July flg shirt at old navy.

I am annoyed, I feel worse than a rape victim, and my culture has been stolen from me, all that I hold near and dear is no longer mine. Uggos/pooros and fashionable unfit ppl r going 2 begin 2 listen 2 the same music as me. First we lost American Apparel 2 the mall, now indie n electro. What is next? It's time 2 take a stand, we must stop this pillory, our favorite bands must be kept hidden from msntrmsers, and it is up 2 us 2 end this now. I believe we have the power.

I have a dream, that one day our music will b saved, that we will 1 day live in a world were alts can exist free from persecution from mnstrmers and the thief of their precious and meaningful culture. I have a dream that America can b a bastion for alts worldwide. And if now, let’s just take whip it’s and kill ourselves

THXGIVING IS MNSTRM BULLSHIT

2009-11-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

As a true alt I feel that it is my duty to inform the confused masses about the customs and rituals that dictate our behavior within society that are just too mainstream. I question the true intent behind the creation and execution of such acts. I truly 'get' things and it is up to me to set the record str8.

Like an alt warrior leading the battle against pure evil, I promise to take 2 my blog and let the these thoughts flow into my posts. I don't want u 2 follow things blindly, think for urself like I do. U have a brain, and I want u 2 use it 2 create something good. So follow me, read my blog, realize that I have all the answers and that conforming 2 the norm is the most dangerous act someone can commit.

Thxgiving is mnstrm bullshit, yall.

Last nite wen I was drnk off sparx and high on tons of blow I formulated my soon to be senior thesis as to y this holiday is fkin ghey. I don't want 2 see my bullshit family, dad is just going to spend the day yelling about my sis's abortion, my brother failing out of college, and my 'worthless' lifestyle. (My dad still isn't over the fact that I traded my car in for a 4,000 dollar fixie, he doesn't get that it's not just a trend and that fixies are now completely integrated into my alternative lifestyle), he also doesn’t want to pay for my tuition to my prestigious art school and thinks that my major is bullshit but he doesn’t have the balls to say it. My mom spends the day pretending to worry about the turkey, running into the kitchen 2 check on it, but rlly is downing bottles of wine and getting high on ambien. Marriage is s0 not alt, I will nvr get married, instead I plan 2 continually explore my sexuality.

Can’t wait 2 get back 2 the city and c the ppl who truly 'get' me.

///More reasons THXGIVING is complete bullshit///

U eat, get fat, which isn't alt, then try to shed off calories, why not just spend the day doing blow instead?

u have 2 c relatives who don't get u and attempt to coax u into sharing ur most alt thoughts by giving u shittie gifts,

If they rlly understood ur lifestyle, they would give u blow instead.

Wen ur back in the suburbs u can’t ride ur fixie...if u try 2, you'll get hassled by all the fat heifers driving SUVS. It's quite clear these ppl r just jealous that they r unable 2 ride as fast as u do, maybe if they did some chanel they'd have the energy to mash as hard as u.

no cafes 2 retreat to and get away from ur family and utilize the pent up rage/frustration/anger/confusion/realization of sexuality as art around a group of other likeminded starving artist.

u r no longer a starving artist (via turkey and fatto foods) is it possible 2 still create something meaningful now? I don't know.

all ur drug dealers live in the city, there r no 'gentrified' neighborhoods in the suburbs.

can't skate

can't renegade

can't drink sparx in public

But all of these setbacks pale when the master plot behind the bullshit that is thxgiving are revealed. All major retailers want u 2 cook a large turkey. They want u n ur family 2 create and consume a giant feast, they kno u will b unable 2 finish. This works well for blk friday, one of the most unalt and mnstrm days of the year. On this day uggos/pooros line their suburb streets waiting for the doors of their local big box retailer/suburban strip mall to open their doors. Upon opening the blind masses stampede in looking for 'doorbuster deals' and 'once in a lifetime sales' What does this have 2 do with thxgiving? The evil corporations want u to line up early rite, but wat prevents these 'fat pigs' from leaving their house at nite? They get hungry (this is why they don't go to dive bars like alts do) and there are no places to buy food at nite...but if these ppl cook a feast the day before and r unable 2 finish it, they will bring their scraps with them feasting throughout the nite while camped out waiting to spend their minuscule disposable income. This is y thxgiving is fuckin bullshit, just like jesusxchristmas.

THXGIVING//THE HOLIDAY CREATED FOR-->BLKFRIDAY///A DAY SUSTAINED BY LEFTOVR TURKEY SANDWICHES

Don’t fuk with this holiday, it is the most unalt thing an alt can do.

What other holidays are unalt??

Will u still ride ur fixie in the suburbs?

d0 u think my parents will get mad if I spike the drinks with pbr?

WHAT IS THE MOST HIPSTER CANDY??

2009-10-31T16:09:00.000-07:00

As we all know, today is Halloween. What r u going 2 b tonite? I was going to be ½ of Justice but then I saw this picture and realized that no1 would give such unsightly characters ne candie. I just want lots of candy tonite. And the only way 2 do achieve such a goal is to have a relevant, topical and timely costume. My friends have given me an array of suggestions ranging from Falcon to one of Lady GaGa’s zany get ups. I don’t know though, all seem kinda dated. Maybe I’ll shave my asymmetrical haircut and go barefooted in a tube top (Britney Spears circa her mental breakdown) or maybe I’ll dress up as Oprah, Star Jones, Queen Monique or some other ‘curvy’ strong black woman. I don’t know, so much to think of, s0 little time.

This got me thinking, what candy should I hand out tonight? What is the most hipster candy?

//JUS WANNA BE THE MOST MEMORABLE/MEANINGFUL HOUSE ON THE BLOCK//

M&M’s r totes 4 ravers

Defs dont want 'dark chocolate'

Lollipops r for lil kids and gheymales

This confection is for lesbeyons

This looks kute, it wud rlly show my advanced talents in the arts (dropped out of pratt, yall), but I dnt want 2 b labeled as a ‘rice king or queen’

Bby Roof is 4 msntrm sports bros

100 grand is 4 'fkin sellouts'

Mentos r 4 mexialts

Candie corn is 4 hicks

Could the altest candie b pixie stix??

What do U think is the most hipster candy?

SOMETIMES

2009-10-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

I was on the internet today and I came across this video by one of my most favorite, highly recc’d+respected bands, Miami Horror.

Sometimes from Miami Horror on Vimeo.

I feel like this song borrows elements from New Order, unlike the songs from Bravado which were heavily Prince inspired.
I like this song, but I am not sure which version of Miami Horror I enjoy more. Both are dancey and kinda ghey but I am not sure which is gheyer. I like the uplifting message that this song possess. It is the type of creed I will recite when I wake up in the morning as I prepare to face the world and the coming day (living in the city is hard, yall)

I feel as if this song has the possibility to transcend the Aussie scene and possibly enter the American tween lexicon, replacing shitie bands such as Kill Hannah and AFI. (h8 u former tween tastes) The dude behind MH has the right look, I feel like me and him could really hang out and totes b bffs.

This got me thinking, if I were to pick a electro dude from Australia to have a bromance with who would it be?

Would it be Miami Horror? I like their songs but I feel as if I don’t rlly KNOW them yet. We’ll see after their album drops in 2k10.

What about the bros from Cut Copy? They seem like chill dudes who know how to have a good time. I would force them to recreate the Set from LIGHTS AND MUSIC and perform for me. I would then take ‘mollies’ and ‘trip ballz’

How about Bag Raiderz? Maybe not tho, they seem 2 active.

Always jumping or hanging from things, I wonder what drugs they are on.

Bag Raiders – s0 zANY

If I were to chill hard with Mercy Arms, Id hang out with the dude who is meaningfully/purposefully looking away from the camera to indignantly protest something(probz 4 a free Tibet).

Feel like me and the dude from MidnitE Juggernauts would be big chillin, upside down.

Probz end up OD’ing with the zany guy from PNAU

Who would u pick?

R ALL AZNS GHEY?

2009-10-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have a theory that every AZN is ghey. I also think that every male is just a lil bit ghey, but azn guys are hella ghey. Being ghey is not a bad thing, in fact I feel that many alts have tried ‘experimenting’ at one point or another. I respectfully concede to admitting this whenever asked. But I feel that most azns have ‘tried the ghey thing’ more than once and enjoyed it a lot. This is why:

o Most AZN countries h8 gheys
o Most AZN countries embrace gaiz
o Most AZN men dress in bright colours, tight clothing and have a zany fashion sense
o The totes-AZN-population is caused bc AZN men know that if they reproduce with women, there will be new keut AZN men to cum with

I also have a theory that every AZN is an alt, but that’s neither here nor there. Let’s look at some of these ‘krazie gay azns’

His hair is in corn rolls b/c he is imitating ‘blk culture’ but I feel that the blkz possess a ‘scarier’ and much more ‘potentially dangerous/life threatening’ demeanor than this azn. I feel that the glitter letter jacket and the hot topic inspired skull+bonez render him cuddly and passive.

In asia ads like this r actually made. This sends a clear message to azn son’s that it is okay 2 b a ghey. This azn male is into S&M, has a large phallic symbol cumming from his head, and is wearing gold pants. Pepsi is proud to support Broadway leather daddies or something of this nature.

Feel like this azn keeps his face s0 clear by exfoliating with a daily dose of cum from his bf.

Can’t tell if this boy is male or female. Looks like a kute lesbeyon

This pic is laced with suggestive racial overtones. The azn is clearly the ‘bottom’ and enjoys taking 'the honkies' loads on his face.

What is up with this dudes dress? Nice make up tho wish my stylist was that talented, hehe LOL.

Look at how this alt azn becomes…

…a zany alt gheyzn

This is the face this altskunk makes when taking it up the ‘pooper’

These azns mite ‘acutally’ b ghey, iono tho. Seems chill.

Do yall kno any azns?
R they all ‘fkin fggts’ or are they have gfs?
R ghey azns rlly ghey yall??

I AM GOING TO CRY FOR THE BAND AS WE KNOW IT IS DEAD!

2009-10-07T23:57:00.000-07:00

When I see pictures consisting of alt/moderately alt groups of people playing the alt game RockHero I began to feel sad. Why are these alts wasting their time with such a wacky game? From this pic it is clear that they collectively possess a great amount of creative talent. (1 of them is a altlez, she’z had to spend at least half her life sobbing softly into her pillow, ADVERSITY=ART YALL) I don’t know much about bands, as I am only a blogger, but from what I can tell there is always a fashionable member, a shy member, a ‘bad ass’, and a passive aggressive member who eventually causes +/-1.4 deaths within the band. From the looks of this zany picture, all molds are present. Why waste time with such a pointless game? Why not learn a real instrument.

Is the modern band as we know it a dying slice of the alt world?
Will tweens/teens/and alts make music by pressing lil buttons on a bogus guitar?
Will tweens now attempt to learn ultra-fast button combos instead of learning how to place their lil fingers on the frets of a lezzy paul?
Is the modern band going to die? Will this lead to fewer drug and/or alcohol addictions?

2K10: The Year where real instruments r onlie used as props for sum fggt’s photo shoot.

WITHOUT YOU

2009-09-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

Really enjoying the artwork displayed in this, as well as the rest of, Empire of the Sun music video. I feel like the artwork/image transcend the music. I don't know though. Is it too gimmicky?

Here's the track. It's quite good.

Empire of the Sun - Standing on the Shore

And heres an amazing remix by Lifelike.

Empire of the Sun - Standing on the Shore (Lifelike Remix)

PROPERLY PARTYING

2009-09-04T15:37:00.001-07:00

Often times when I am out at night I find myself acting in a wasteful manner. Entire paychecks have been spent in mere hours in a drunken haze in order to further the cause achieving a meaningful night. I’ve been ‘broke off of coke’, ‘in dismay due 2 K’ and have ‘blew for joose’. These are scenarios I wish to never repeat in my life as they were all traumatic and kind of ghey. If you follow these simple rules for partying then you will never have to undergo the hardships I did in hopes of furthering your aspirations of partying successfully.

Rule 1:Never Waste Alcohol

Alcohol is expensive. If you are a true partier you live to party day after day. You strive to make consecutive appearances at all the local spots that matter. Even if you only attend a bar for five minutes, or smoke a fag and then proceed to leave (preferably with a look of utter boredom/disgust as if to say you are on your way to a more important space, even if you aren’t) you must make an appearance. The problem with this is the fact that buying alcohol at all of these locations is costly. You shouldn’t be expected to patronize all of the locations you attend, and you probably don’t. I have found the best thing to do is buy a drink at a near by liquor store and hastily drink the alcoholic beverage of your choice while you are mobile between locations.

What’s your favorite drink?

This leads me to the next obstacle when trying to conserve alcohol. What should one do if they arrive at their destination and have not yet finished drinking? There are several paths a young partier may take when posed with this dilemma:

1. Chug the beer as quickly as possible, stumble into the bar/club. (WARNING: If the club has a bouncer you may be denied entry, do not complain or send me hate mail if this happens to you, a true partier should be able to handle his or her self when drunk. Always keep your composure.)
2. Throw it out, FYI only fggts do this.
3. Give it to a friend. Aw, aren’t you nice.
4. Give it to the bouncer and/or bartender, damn you’re dummmmmm.
5. Give it to a bum.
6. Give it to a bird
7. Give it to mother earth
8. Give it to the DJ, he’d probably appreciate it, and it’d make his set +/-x better.
9. Lock it to your fixed gear, Iono how to do that yet.

Those are only okay suggestions by far the best thing to do is be creative and think like no one else. Utilize the environment around you, become one with your surroundings. If you are partying in the wilderness, then you must think like an animal. If you are partying in the sea, then you must think like a mammal of the sea. Most of us party in the city, so you must think like a minority who belongs to a brute street gang.

One of the cleverest places to hide your drink is under a construction cone. No one will think of looking underneath these inanimate objects of warning. Most ppl party at night, if you don’t u r pretty zany, so you needn’t worry about a dirty construction worker fucking with your stash, and if a drunk driver collides with your chosen cone then he or she will be startled by the sound of cracking glass. Hopefully the bottle punctures their tire and causes them to flip over, serves them right for driving reckless, and better a cone then another car. If anything, your action is not only saving you money, but countless lives as well. That’s kind of commendable.

You can trust this method, I have hid not only alcohol under construction cones but coke, condoms, sharpies, doughnuts, am appy underwear, (incase I get tugged on while dancing) and my dialysis kit underneath these orange beacons of security.

Will you try this? What other things can be utilized to save you beer money? Is this safe/morally correct?

WAKE UP

2009-09-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it zany when songs share names with each other? I find it even more zany when these songs aren’t covers. How were two different artist able to craft a song from scratch and arrive with the same title as another artist? Did they listen to the song and decide to title their song the same, regardless of the lyrics and what would ensue. Are they a fan of that particular song and yearn for the chance to pay tribute? Is that particular artist no artist at all, but nothing more than a ‘biter’? I don’t know, I am not far enough developed in the arts to create, let alone name, a song. I just find this occurrence to be one of the most confusing things occurring in contemporary music today.

This post was just an excuse to post the following song.

Acid Girls (ft FrankMusik) - Wake Up

I find this song to be ecstatic in presenting guest vocals from FrankMusik, I bet Acid Girls were/are thrilled to be able to feature Blog Favorite™ FrankMusik over their work. I’ve been a fan for FrankMusik for the past 2 years and have grown to know, love, and understand his voice. Every song he is involved with is pop-gold. He can do no wrong, well except the rework of confusion girl (it sucks now) and he will be the king of (blog)pop in no time.

Lo-Fi-Fnk - Wake Up

Used to love this song s0 bad…miss u 2k6.

TROPICAL MONSTROSITY

2009-08-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

Miami Horror is a band that seems to be an ambitious project by some Aussie. The songs consist of all the elements that I find enjoyable in music. Here is a list of things that I favor:

-Heavy Synth use
-Emotive/Ghey vocals
-Strong 80s gimmick
-Harmony/Melody/Hooks
-Outdated Music Video gimmick
-Tip off too Prince

Here is their lead single, it seems as if the chords for When Dove's Cry were reversed in the execution of this song. What do you think?

Miami Horror - Don't Be On With Her

Here is a song built from a single guitar sample. Say what you will about samples but this song is pretty epic.

Miami Horror - Summerfest '86

And finally, my favorite song at the moment remixed by Fred Falke. Get into this.

Miami Horror - Make You Mine (Fred Falke Remix)

WHEN PARTIES THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN, HAPPEN

2009-08-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

I am sure that there are plenty of parties worthy of attendance in every major metropolitan area. There are parties where your dreams are realized and anything seems possible. “Will I get laid?” “Will I get drunk?” “Will I come out as ghey to my friends and go home with the local slut?” “Will I convert from ghey to str8 and go to a hot ass tricks house?” “Will I accidentally venture across the bridge into what is known as a ‘warzone’ due to the fact that I took too much e and or did too much blow, resulting in a lapse of judgment which causes me to wake up in a mattress warehouse by day that houses an illegal Vietnamese fight club ring at night?” These are all plausible outcomes when pregaming it at a friend’s place before a night of perspective parties. I feel that most everyone wants to feel accomplished when partying, and sex is what constitutes a successful night of partying. If one share his or her bed with another boy or girl and engages in intercourse then the night is momentous. Does anyone really go to a club to listen to the music? Does anyone REALLY like minimal techno? I don’t know the answers to these questions, I am just a boy. But what I do know is that I’d take my pick amongst any of the said outcomes over what I am about to expose to you. I’d rather throw up while in a sexual act with the boy of my dreams (my sexuality is still an experiment) than end up at a club filled with unfuckable old ppl. I don’t know the name of this club, I don’t want to know, and I think it has to do with clubbing a heifer or something similar, but when attending something of this nature, it is important that you gather the will power to leave while the night is still young, thus ensuring that you may come across some young foxes to get ‘jiggy’ with.

HERE ARE SOME SIGNS OF A HEIFER CLUB:

Some sort of ominous oversized ovary lumes over the entire club, ready to hatch the next heifer, thus keeping what should be a quiet, short lived party alive for longer than it should be.

MC that may or may not have a day job as computer programmer.

Girls who get off on fucking a Perez Hilton look-a-like.

Girls who look like guys (and not in the kute Japanese way)

Girls who look through their daughters Urban Outfitters catalogue and try to relive their younger years.

I think this guy invented that egg thing, if you see him at a party, beware…

Not gonna say anything about this pic…I think I may be scared of those guys.

DEFS a bad party when this guy arrives, I’ve seen him around my local scene, he always tries to get chicks that are ‘way hotter’ hotter than him, and always fails. I guess it’s commendable that he never gives up.

When Eugene Levy clone is the only one dancing, avoid the designated dancing area.

When the old ppl take over the VIP area, don’t bother with it, make a VVIP area and don’t let them in.

Parties bad when this guy actually succeeds.

This dbag looks like he got rlly psyched for this event, popped 4 molly’s drank a couple red bulls+bud lights and was ready to dance.

2 bad he got 2 sweaty and had to back off, I heard he passed out around 11:30 and slept for the rest of the party.

It is important to pick your parties wisely as this is the most basic element when determining weather or not you will be getting laid. If you chose a party filled with undesirables you will most likely be going to sleep with the aid of autoerotic pleasure. Chose wisely and your life can be that much better.

GOAL SETTING IS AN IMPERATIVE PART OF LIFE

2009-07-28T21:11:00.001-07:00

And that is why I have this made this map, so I know how close I am to completing my life goal.

MY MUSIC TASTE IS NOT GAY, JUST FLAMBOYANTLY EFFEMINATE

2009-07-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone holds his or her own preferences towards which genre of music they gravitate towards. If we didn't new types of music would never have formed. As a society we would all listen to classical pieces. It is in our nature to experiment, deviate and create entirely new sounds which may or may not appeal to certain individuals.

This is why I disdain from bashing people's acquired tastes. I may not agree or even enjoy with what they are infatuated with, but can respect their disdainful involvement with such art. (Note: There is a difference between acquired tastes and being force-fed cookie cutter bromidic music) Furthermore, I take offense when others bash what I enjoy.

"Dude, that's ghey"

I don't find my music to be of the homosexual inclination, and to prove this I'm going to analyze some of the tracks I've loved in the past year.

And usually this statement comes from the mouths of those who like hip-hop. I play them some of the hip-hop they like and naturally have never heard of:

I've always preferred the crookerz version of this song. The thumping dance beat and rough synths give this song a much more enthralling sound when compared to the original. I feel that if I were a stoner I would appreciate the originals slower pace and delayed synths much more, however I'm not and when this version comes on when I'm grinding up on some guy at QBar (they don't play the original version there) I find myself filled with an immeasurable amount of pleasure.
Verdict: On second thought, this song seems pretty gay.

Whenever I encounter someone who likes rock I attempt to tailor my choice. Usually this song works:

A guitar is present in the song, power chords are being strummed and the drums are live. How can that possibly ghey? By the chorus dazzling synths and a very electronic synth-bass appear developing the song into what can only be described as ear-sex.
Verdict:Yeah, it's kinda ghey, buttt hey we're all allowed some space for androgynous tastes.

If by now the judger still isn't 'down' with my tastes, I play him my absolute most favorite song

Verdict:Fuck, I guess my tastes are pretty gay.

2K8 - TOP TEN

2009-07-09T19:37:00.000-07:00

Albums

10. CSS - Donkey
9. Yelle - Pop-Up
8. Kleerup - S/T
7. The Teenagers - S/T
6. Foals - Antidotes
5. Ladyhawke - S/T
4. The Presets - Apocalypto
3. Lykke Li - Youth Novel
2. Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
1. Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours